A while ago, I emailed the writer Amitava Kumar<\/a> of Patna who teaches literature at Vassar College in Poughkeepsie.<\/p>\n

When I email a writer, it is because: I like their work, their writing has touched me in some way, and I want to record my appreciation. Fan girl stuff \u00a0really — nothing more.\u00a0<\/strong>But this time, I was also writing to tell A.Kumar about an Indian woman whose remains were interred in a cemetery in Poughkeepsie, a woman whose story obsesses me<\/a>. She was the first Brahmin woman to leave home and come to America in search of an education. That \u00a0was in the 1800s. I was hoping A.Kumar would make something more of this woman’s story \u00a0— more than I ever could.<\/p>\n

Soon enough, Anandibai did make it into A.Kumar’s writing. \u00a0He used the factoid I sent him in this essay — Changing Homelands.<\/a><\/p>\n

Earlier this year, my mother passed away in Patna. When I returned from her funeral I asked myself a question. What would have happened if she had been living with me and died in Poughkeepsie? And somewhere beneath it was another question. Will I die here in this town in America?<\/p>\n

A few months ago, a stranger<\/strong> sent me a link to a grave in Poughkeepsie where the ashes of Anandabai Joshee are interred. Joshee was the first Indian woman to obtain a doctor\u2019s degree. Her gravestone, in Poughkeepsie\u2019s Rural Cemetery, reads: \u201cAnandabai Joshee, M.D, 1865-1887 First Brahmin Woman to Leave India to Obtain an Education.\u201d<\/p>\n

Poughkeepsie Rural Cemetery is a nine-minute drive from my apartment. After my mother\u2019s death, I discovered that the same Rural Cemetery houses the local crematorium. I went to visit it and the receptionist in the small office showed me laminated photographs of the facilities. The crematorium was a bit like a suburban two-car garage with its wide doors. There was a picture of the adjoining \u201cviewing room,\u201d a plain space with three chairs and a painting on the wall that showed a rushing brook in a forest. Only two or three close family members would be allowed to sit with the body; later, they could be present when the body was put in the container that slides into the crematorium.<\/p>\n

The receptionist said, \u201cYou can stay for about 15 minutes to say your prayers but not longer. Otherwise it ties things up.\u201d The ashes could be collected the next day. I was told that the cost of the cremation was $350 (but only $250 for a child under 10).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A. Kumar sent me the link to the piece, which I might’ve missed otherwise. I appreciate his taking the time to do that. And yet I felt hurt by the word “stranger.”But seriously what other word could he have used to describe me? We have never met. I know him through his writing. He does not know me.\u00a0It is the right word in this context. Sigh!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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